Coming up on the Daren Streblow Comedy Show


April 19, 2014 Weekend

Riley Armstrong finally sits across from Daren for a long-overdue interview, as Daren asks about Riley's life and brilliant comedy music. Kenn Kington calls in to report about a dead mouse in his bathroom, and this is causing his wife to do involuntary yoga. Plus Daren gets a call from a man in Germany who is attempting to break the world's record for the most Easter eggs in a tree — you heard it here first.

From the StreBlog

Listen to Rik Roberts on the Daren Streblow Comedy Show

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Guest comedian Rik Roberts has a little advice for Taylor Swift. Jason Earls needs to give some advice to his daughter when she tells him that when she grows up she wants to be on the Biggest Loser. We will also be trashing a rental car.

Featuring: David Pendleton, Riley Armstrong, Jeff Allen, Zan, Jason Earls, Denny Brownlee, and Rik Roberts

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March 29 Daren Streblow Comedy Show with Chonda Pierce

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On this episode of the Daren Streblow Comedy Show: Chonda Pierce talks about her small apartment, Tim Hawkins talks about how his daughter can resemble those puppies on the Humane Society commercials, and Riley Armstrong remembers getting a bowl haircut.

Featuring: David Pendleton, Riley Armstrong, John Pinette, Tim Hawkins, Dustin Nickerson, Rik Roberts, and Chonda Pierce

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March 22nd Daren Streblow Comedy Show with Michael Jr.

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Michael Jr. is embarrassed when his son asks questions (loudly) about a woman nursing her baby in the waiting room at a doctor’s office. Robert G. Lee is seeing how much embarrassment his teenage daughter can really take and Tim Hawkins is embarrassed when he mixes up a woman with a dude.

Featuring: David Pendleton, Riley Armstrong Chonda Pierce, Tim Hawkins, Robert G. Lee, Michael Jr. and Nazareth

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Isaac Witty on the March 16th Daren Streblow Comedy Show

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Nick Arnette says Little Debbie’s are so bad every box has a picture of a little girl laughing at you. Isaac Witty suggests that if you travel to the Middle East you shouldn’t make the mistake he did and use the map in the back of your Bible to get around and Riley Armstrong is out of control…. literally.

Special Guests: David Pendleton, Riley Armstrong, Phil Di Tommaso. Nick Arnette, Isaac Witty, Darren Marlar

Listen here:

New Record for Pain

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Well, in case you missed the news a few months back (like I did), the record for the hottest chili pepper has been broken!

The previous record was held by a pepper called the Trinidad Moruga Scorpion–-(didn’t he wrestle Hulk Hogan in the 80s?)– which contains 2 million Scoville heat units. This pepper makes your face hot enough to roast s’mores over it.

But the Trinidad Moruga Scorpion is no longer the hottest pepper! The heat record is now held by the Carolina Reaper. The Reaper pepper blazes in at 2.2 million heat units! The military in India uses peppers like this to make weapons that “immobilize” you; although I have a feeling it would make the victims very mobile indeed.

Now, I mean no disrespect to folks who like to break chili-pepper records; I think it’s great. I myself have never broke a record of any kind. I did once attempt to break the world’s record for the most marshmallows packed in your mouth while saying “Chubby Bunny.” The record was 16, and on my 15th marshmallow my allergies kicked in, I sneezed, and I knocked over a kid on a bicycle across the street.

Records are hard to break, and the guy who made the Carolina Reaper broke the record by 200,000 heat units! That’s huge! But it begs the question: did we really need a hotter chili pepper?

Did someone say, “Wow, I bit into this Trinidad Moruga Scorpion and I was in a coma for nearly two weeks. I wish someone could top that!”

“I want a chili pepper that will reconstruct my DNA at the cellular level while I lie on the ground screaming like I’m being dipped in a live volcano! You got something like that?”

“I’ve been kissing my blowtorch, but it’s just not enough!”

“I want a chili pepper that’s going to kill me, bring me back to life, wax my nose hairs, steal my identity, call me names, and then kill me again! Why? Because that’s good eating!”

If a chili pepper can be used by the military as a weapon, I don’t think it belongs in the cheese-dip.

Isn’t pain God’s way of saying, “Don’t?”

Listen to Tim Hawkins on the Daren Streblow Comedy Show

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Tim Hawkins shares his “Greatest Hits and Greatest Bits” on the Daren Streblow Comedy Show — plus he talks about his new movie coming up with Kirk Cameron.

Special Guests: Tim Hawkins, David Pendleton, Riley Armstrong, Greg Hahn, Zan Aufderheide, and Rik Roberts.

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Listen to Rex Havens on the Daren Streblow Comedy Show!

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Will Rex Havens rescue his son who needs 7 to close his checking account? Kermit Apio is rescued by his wife, “I married a Texan. I didn’t really propose to her, I just told her I’m from Hawaii and I sure would like to stay in this country.” Denny Brownlee rescues himself from vermin.

Special Guests: David Pendleton, Riley Armstrong, Rex Havens, Keith Alberstadt, Denny Brownlee, Kermet Apio & Gid Pool.

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Listen to Tim Clue on the Daren Streblow Comedy Show

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Tim Clue demonstrates why Time Out should not be used for discipline, John Pinette has self-discipline and will not allow himself to get addicted to the gym, and Tim Hawkins needs some discipline when it comes to his cereal.

Featuring: David Pendleton, Riley Armstrong, John Pinette, Jeffrey Jena, Robert G. Lee, Nick Arnette, Rex Havens, Tim Clue, and Tim Hawkins!

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Listen to Jim Labriola on the Daren Streblow Comedy Show

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Home Improvement’s Jim Labriola has a mom who stuffs paper in ravioli. Learn why on the Daren Streblow Comedy Show. Also, Jeff Allen tells the hilarious story of how his son learned to drive. Plus Dave and Brian wonders in song why everyone is “gangsta” now.

Featuring: David Pendleton, Riley Armstrong, Jeff Allen, Stephen B, Steve Geyer, Jim Labriola, And Dave & Brian.

Listen below!

The Presidential Mattress Connection

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You probably spent President’s Day either: trying to figure out what to do with your hysterically-bored children, huddling together to keep warm, or buying a new on-sale mattress.

Why do mattress sales and President’s Day go together so well? They seem to go together like the Fourth of July and emergency-room visits. To find the answer, I did some digging into the never-wrong rock-solid truth-archives of Wikipedia, and I discovered the link!

It turns out that President’s Day mattress sales might have started in 1800 with John Adams. Adams was our first president to take residence in the newly-built White House, and he demanded that the President’s Bedroom have a distinctive mattress that was firm to the touch and solid in it’s connection to American history. So, the newly appointed Secretary of Sleep, Alfred Coattails, Jr., whose posting was quite controversial at the time, quickly located the perfect mattress — a king-size mattress made of solid wood taken from the very tree George Washington cut down truthfully as a child.

The wooden mattress was ideal when it came to historical relevance, but less than ideal when it came to comfort. Adam’s wife, Abigail, took to sleeping in a separate room which, of course, Adams took quite personally. For Adams saw “no issue with the firmness of the historic bed” and felt as if he were, every night, “resting on the bosom of American history.”

Adams was stubborn in his love of the uber-firm mattress throughout his presidency — despite a perpetually numb left arm and a physician who wanted to bleed him for narcolepsy. It was rumored that while Adams was giving a tour of the White House to his arch political rival Alexander Hamilton and boasting about the excellence of the Washington cherry mattress that Adams fell fast asleep standing up — a fact that Adams categorically denied.

After the Adams presidency, the mattress was passed from president to president — each sacrificing their nightly comfort for the sake of tradition. Thomas Jefferson said of the bed, “No freeman shall be debarred the use of arms… I wish I could feel mine.”

John Quincy Adams said, “If you actions inspire others to dream more, that’s better than I’ve been able to do for many a year.”

Abraham Lincoln said, “America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. Speaking of which, could somebody fetch the presidential tweezers and help me reach the slivers in the middle of my back?”

As rumors of the terrible mattress spread throughout the country, mattress companies began to fight to have their state-of-the-art flagship mattress be brought into the presidential bedroom. After all, who wouldn’t want to buy the same mattress that Rutherford B. Hayes had drooled upon?

Laugh Through Valentine’s Day on the Daren Streblow Comedy Show

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In honor of Valentine’s Day we will be hearing relationship advice from comedians. What could possibly go wrong?

Rex Haven explains,”I got married and I found out my beautiful wife Sara wanted us to have checks for the checkbook that were, get this, pretty… I’m a man… I just wanted checks that would clear.”

A woman asks Michael Jr. to buy her a Coach purse and after seeing the price tag he decides to buy her an assistant coach.

Plus we will hear a romantic song about chocolate and cheese.  How often do you hear that?

Featuring: Nazareth, Thor Ramsey, Anita Renfroe, Brad Stine, Denny Brownlee, Rex Haven, Robert G Lee, Leland Klassen, Michael Jr. and Tim Hawkins!

Listen to the Daren Streblow Comedy Show right here:

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Anita Renfroe Demystifies the Hissy Fit

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Have you have ever found yourself in the radius of a full-blown hissy fit? As a guy who doesn’t like conflict, I so appreciate Anita Renfroe taking the time to break down the DEFCON levels of emotional outburst in this hilarious episode of the Daren Streblow Comedy Show.

Andy Andrews almost gets beaten by his wife wondering aloud why Solomon had so many wives.

David Pendleton, Riley Armstrong, and I discuss ways to cope with a Velveeta Cheese shortage because Velvetapocalypse can strike at any time.

Phil Di Tommaso thinks traffic reporters have a cushy job.

Plus, Know-It-All Guy stops by with some Groundhog Day trivia that will fill your head with knowledge and make sure you sit alone at every party.

Listen here:

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My Football Excuse

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If you watched the Super Bowl, I hope you enjoyed it. I didn’t see it. Now, hearing that, you might feel sorry for me and wonder what kind of horrible incident kept me from the most wonderful event of the year? Steel yourself, because this might rattle you to your core. Ready?

I just didn’t watch it.

Now, before you jump to conclusions, let be clear:

I knew it was Superbowl Sunday.
I do not see football as immoral.
I’m not angry about my team not being there.
I have nothing against the Seahawks.
I have nothing against the Broncos.
I am not currently on any medication.
I am not under the influence of alcohol.
My electricity and television were working.
I am not a communist.
I am male.
I am human.

So, why didn’t I see the game? Well, here’s where it gets uncomfortable, because I don’t want to give the impression that I don’t think football is amazing, or that I think fans are misguided, or anything like that. But here it is:

I just don’t care.

Now, many of you have told me that I should care! I know I should care! I should really care a lot! I should care because I’m an American! I should care because my neighbors care! I should care because not caring makes me look like a bookish uber-dweeb!

If anything, I should care because I am my father’s son. Here’s a man who ran marathons for most of his life, played every sport available to him in high school, and can recite every tidbit of sports trivia down to birthmark locations. God blessed this sports-loving man with 2 daughters and an artsy son.

It’s not that being artistically driven automatically means you don’t care about football. I have many comedian and musical friends who love sports. But for me, why spend 4 hours watching a football game when you can make fun of it for 2 minutes and then do something more entertaining — like Ms. Pacman?

I guess I just missed the sports gene. My sons seem to have missed the gene too. I will always remember 2 years ago on Super Bowl Sunday, when the television was off the whole day. There were no cheers. All you could hear was this loud conversation:

[Me] “Hey, when you boys do your sewing, don’t do it on the living room rug!”
[Boys] “What? What do you mean?”
[Me] “Just what I said — Don’t sew on the living room rug! The needles are going to go right up into my foot!”
[Boys] “What? Are you saying we can’t sew anymore!???”
[Me] “No! I’m not saying you can’t sew anymore! I’m saying if you leave your sewing stuff on the rug, you’re going to jab someone on the foot!”
[Boy] “Oh! We are so relieved you aren’t saying we can’t sew anymore!”
[Me] “You know I’ve been very supportive of your sewing thing. Haven’t I said that? I like what you sew. I’m a big fan of your sewing! ”
[Boy] “It just made us nervous, because it’s so much fun, and there’s just nothing good to watch on TV today.”

So, needless to say, I didn’t see the game. But one of my friends who is a devout Broncos fan told me the score was pretty close.

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By the way, my buddy David Pendleton has a gene that attracts tornados.  And when a tornado approaches David Pendleton, he does what anyone else would do — he leaves deadpan messages on my voice mail!  Click on the banner above to listen.

No Water Fountains

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Wow, what a day of radio. I recorded with Tim Hawkins, Isaac Witty, David Pendleton, and Riley Armstrong. Then I was a guest on Jeff Allen’s new podcast, “An Examined Life.” The Electro-Voice RE20 had a little smoke coming off it when I was done.

Jeff is a terrific host and we chatted about all things comedy and life — solving a majority of the worlds problems in under 35 minutes. Sherlock and Watson would have been proud. Of course, they don’t actually really exist, but then again, neither does any evidence that Jeff and I have the smarts to solve any real problems.

I just got chewed out my son who caught me drinking out of the kitchen faucet — which I’ve forbidden he children to do. He accused me of being a hypocrite. I explained that I am allowed to drink out of the faucet because my lips don’t actually touch the faucet itself, and when children drink from it, they tend to put their mouths on the faucet — sometimes capturing the full pressure of the faucet into their gullets and unintentionally blasting a significant volume of water out their nose and ears, followed by lots of gasping for breath and coughing over all the bread and butter left on the kitchen counter.

It’s the mouth on the faucet thing that makes me avoid public drinking fountains. Drinking out of a public fountain is really like locking lips with the community at large. When I drink water, I don’t want to indirectly kiss Kevin Bacon.

By the way, did you hear that Bone Hampton was one of the guys that got stuck on the Atlanta highway overnight in the car during the terrible snow storm? Of course, when I say the snowstorm in Atlanta was terrible, I’m just saying the following: snow fell in Atlanta. That seem silly to people like me who live in Minnesota. Of course, people from Atlanta think that it’s more silly to live in Minnesota. I can’t really argue that point.

Bone is just fine now. I got to interview him recently and it’s now on the new podcast. You can hear by clicking here:

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Laugh Yourself Warm and Cozy with Anthony Griffith on the Daren Streblow Comedy Show

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Why does Anthony Griffith’s mom uses Pepto Bismol to heal gunshot wounds?

Kermit Apio doesn’t have AAA but he does have the cheaper plan of AA, “A bunch of alcoholics pushing my car down the highway.”

Plus Dave and Brian party like it’s Wednesday.

Featuring: Bob Nelsen, Kermit Apio, Dave & Brian Rockenspiel, John Pinette, Anthony Griffith & Chris Danielson.

Listen here:

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A Love Letter to Bacon

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I love bacon.

I saw a link on a web page that said, “If You Read This Article on Bacon You Will Never Eat Bacon Again.” Naturally, I did what any bacon-lover would do when this type of link popped up on his or her computer screen: I yanked the power chord out of the back of the computer, screamed, and ran barefoot out into the snow. What a terrible close call!

An exposé on bacon? Really? What kind of monster would misuse the talents that God had given him to destroy the happiness of so many people? Are health writers out of their minds? These health writers are probably tempted to talk to kids enjoying a live puppet show and say, “You know that puppets are fake, right? Those puppets are made of felt which is probably manufactured in China using child slave labor. Yeah, that puppet is being operated by an ordinary guy with bad breath named Bill. He actually hates little kids, and he’s only doing this show because he owes his sister a lot of money. Have a nice day kiddo and be sure to friend me on Facebook!”

Health writers are all making a mistake when they think we want to know this kind of information. We don’t. No, I’m serious. We really don’t want to know.

Another mistake that health writers make is that they try to appeal to a bacon-lover’s desire for self-preservation. “Oh! Bacon hurts you!” “Oh! Bacon is bad for you!” I surmise from these patronizing lectures that the health writers actually believe that we think bacon is, well, healthy! You know, just because I’m putting crumbled bacon on a salad doesn’t mean I think it’s healthy.

Even delusional smokers know bacon is unhealthy. I’ve heard smokers say, “Smoking cigarettes isn’t bad for me. I mean… it’s not like I’m eating bacon.”

We don’t eat bacon for its health benefits. We eat bacon because it makes our taste buds sing like angels. Bacon makes our mouths fly around the room and bursts of confetti explode in our heads. It’s an amazing taste. Have you ever accidentally got a piece of the wax paper that wraps around bacon to fry in the skillet and then put in in your mouth unawares? Do you spit the wax paper out? Nope. Why? It tastes like bacon!

If scientists ever could make a poison to taste like bacon, it would be the end of all civilization as we know it.

So a word to the health writers out there: If you want to make us bacon-lovers see the light and turn from our wicked ways, you are going to have to have to provide more compelling reasons to get us on the wagon than trite little factoids about bacon probably killing us. You have going to have to go much deeper and speak to us at the core of our beings. You are going to have to go nuclear. You are going to have to write an article that says something like,
“Study Proves That Bacon Ruins the Taste of Donuts.”

I almost fainted just there.

Listen to Frank Caliendo on the Daren Streblow Comedy Show

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Frank Caliendo becomes John Madden and seems to be obsessed with stating the obvious.

Andy Andrews on parenting, “I remember the crazy things my parents used to say to me. Things like if you cut your feet off with the lawn mower don’t come running to me”

Tim Hawkins asked himself if Bono had kids how would it affect his music.

Listen and Laugh on the Daren Streblow Comedy Show.

Featured Guests: Frank Caliendo, David Pendleton, Leland Klassen, Brian Regan, Tim Hawkins, Isaac Witty, Andy Andrews, & Clayburn Cox.

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Listen to the best of 2013 on the Daren Streblow Comedy Show!

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We celebrate New Year’s with our funniest moments from 2013. Learn why Brian Regan can’t spell. Jeff Allen explains to his boy how his first car had a tire under the hood and how he kept a spare engine in the trunk. Plus Tim Hawkins can’t get off the john as he is playing Angry Birds (we’ll see what his wife has to say about that).

Featured Guests: Jeff Allen, Tim Hawkins, David Pendleton, Leland Klassen, Brian Regan, Denny Brownlee, John Pinette, Rex Havens, Joby Saad, & Michael Jr.

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Listen to Gordon Douglas on the Daren Streblow Comedy Show!

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Gordon Douglas remembers his father, “He was cheap. The ice cream man would come down the street and he told us if they are ringing the bell they were out of ice cream.” Anita Renfroe discovers the male secret, “Guys use 25,000 words a day and women use 75,000 words a day. Isn’t that amazing? It’s not really when you think about it, because we have to repeat everything three times.”Plus our tribute to Krispy Kremes via a Christmas Carol, “The Donut Song.”

Featured Guests: Gordon Douglas, David Pendleton, Leland Klassen, Anita Renfroe, Jinny Henson, Tim Hawkins, & Peder Eide.

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